Saturday, October 6, 2018

The Robot Apocalypse Is Upon Us

A moody Tyrannodorkus
Careful, he getting huffy and puffy and may blow your house down

I came to realize the singularity (moment when robot intelligence surpasses humans and rise to be our overlords) has come. It was a gentle thing, a small moment that most people would think, “Hey, you’re just being a sore loser.” But no, I say, listen to my wisdom!

I was playing the Jackbox Party Pack 4 on Steam with a couple of friends. The games were innocent enough, the kind you wouldn’t think world ending prophecies would occur. We played the ‘Survive the Internet’ game first. Big mistake. Since it was just us three, the game decided to throw in a robot player to even the odds. Long story short, the AI was beating me on the scoreboard, making my prompts look the fool. But then the game sort of froze and we decided to move onto the next game. The computer probably had to pause so it could plot our demise.

We had fun playing a couple other games free from the influence of Skynet meddling in our affairs, and then decided to end it on ‘Monster Seeking Monster.’ I forgot it was a pretty awkward game where you must chat to each other to try and get one another to go on dates. Not exactly a game to play between a bunch of friends, but behold, the game threw in a robot player again. I had the bright idea to see who the robot would choose, and we all tried to date the bot. Three rounds later and not once did that s.o.b. pick me. The nerve! That’s it, everyone. Game Over! The robots know how to play us as fools and relish in our misery.

What else could it have been? That RNG just wasn’t in my favor? I’m too good for that!

You may also be going, hey wait, you haven’t posted anything in over 1 year and 10 months, why now? My answer is… robot uprising! Yeah, why else would I post this? To guilt someone to give me sympathy for being a sore loser? Pfft, it was the uprising.

Either way, stay safe out there.


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