Fell on Hard Slimes

Hi Sis,

I wanted to check in with how things are with Mom and Dad. I don’t remember you mentioning anything in the last couple of letters.

There’s been a bit of a delay in my trip to Alderheart, but well worth it. A young Corvum apparently was in need of help as she journeyed alone to study slimes in a nearby cave. The Magistrate (can you imagine a magistrate asking for my help?) asked us to find this Kenna Brightspark for him. So off to the caves we went.

Remember when we would joke about putting slimes on mom and dad’s beak brush instead of the cleaning paste? Well I’ll tell you what, slimes are no joke. These things either burn through leather and metal with some alchemical properties, and if that’s not enough, instantly glue themselves to anything it touches. My friends lost a weapon or two fighting them. But funny enough, they also have feelings as I made one cry with my abilities before it loss cohesion and died. I felt pretty bad, but it was either it or us walking away from that fight.

Here’s a particular interesting scene, my friend Sycamore, the Cervan if you recall, is pretty tall. When we were down in the caves, his antlers grabbed a sizable amount of the cave moss. It reminded me of images of Cairith. Now Sycamore may think he’s the spitting image of an Amaranthine Deity, but if you meet him, don’t feed his ego or he’ll think he is one.

Back to the slimes, if you ever see them, you can use this trick. We came across some in the cave and needed to get past them. They apparently sense movement, so we used some stones and tossed them to a part of the cave to move them away from where we were going. I’m attaching a book that came in handy about the slimes with this letter. You might get some use out of it. I’m also sending some of the glowing mushrooms I found in the cave. Please don’t eat them, the group told me I shouldn’t do that either.

Just remember, caves are dangerous. There was a section that fell on your poor old brother, knocking me out unconscious. I was told a cave slime came out and was about to feast on me, but Rakuno rushed in and pulled me away, while Spoke was able to heal me. I don’t know what we would have done without them. Please don’t tell mom and dad about this incident, I don’t want them to worry.

Farah was having some problems, I think she had allergies or something while in the swamp. She was a little slower and like she wasn’t all there, but she helped when it counted.

We did find that slime researcher though. She was stuck to a wall in the cave, guarded by this large slime. Not sure what it was, but it shifted colors as we fought it. It was very pretty for something so dangerous. Rakuno and Farah were tag teaming it until some other slimes showed up from the commotion. Spoke was having some trouble with his spells, but we were able to clear the room of the slimes with Rakuno getting the final blow on the large one and Sycamore finishing the others.

Getting Kenna unstuck was another challenge altogether. Sycamore got stuck (please don’t tell him I told you) but Spoke magically created water that was able to clean up the slime.

We just got back from this whole ordeal, so I will finish this letter and get it sent with the presents.

Your tired, but still kicking brother,
Cork

Humblewood Campaign

Greetings travelers and weary adventurers, please sit down and listen to the tale of a great campaign...

Welcome to the chronicles of the D&D campaign I'm playing in using the Humblewood ruleset. It's built on the D&D fifth edition, but with cute bird and animal folk as the players and npc's.

My character is Cookaroo Tavian, otherwise known as "Corkscrew". He's a Maran Raptor Bard that looks like a bearded vulture, and will be the perspective of how I will tell these tales. Each post will hopefully be a recollection of his for that play session.

My fellow players are;

Rakuno Lightpaws, a Jerbeen Monk, He's played by Rakuno.

Farah, a Mapach Monk that is actually based on a ferret. She's played by Kiran.

Spoke, a Hedge Cleric of the Community Domain. He's played by Mtnpapa.

Sycamore Stronghoof, a Proghorn Cervan Fighter. He's played by Anniemuis.

And the DM that put this all together is Faeldray.

So below I'll try and update it with the link to each session, which I hope any ready will enjoy.

Un-Spoke Woe of Ashbarrow

Long time Sis,

Thank you for the delicious pumpkin bread. It didn’t last long but was enjoyed none the less. My last letter was pretty light like many before, but now I finally have a tale to recount.

This is a tale of sorrow and romance of a group of unlikely heroes, both large in bravery and in heart.

This humble bard was having a bit of fun in a nearby river when a large crowd gathered. Naturally, with large crowds come interesting news, so quickly I gathered my things and joined in.

The head guard had returned with terrible news. Ashbarrow fell to the Scorched Grove. As far as I could gather, the whole town is lost. Though I lost my chance at my story, I grieve for my friend who lost his home.

Oh, speaking of which, I along with some of the others here are now on a quest. Unfortunate tragedy turned into surprise opportunity.

Some of my new troop I had mentioned before in my letters, but I should refresh what I had previously told you.

Spoke, the unfortunate Hedge who has lost his home, is a kind and compassionate cleric.

Rakuno, a noble and justice seeking monk. This Jerbeen is small but packs a serious punch.

Farah, rivals her fellow monk Rakuno. As a Mapach, she’s really creative with harvesting supplies. I’m unsure which region she’s from, but she looks closer to a ferret than a typical Mapach.

Sycamore, a mighty Cervan. This Pronghorn is intimidating in stature, as I would expect a fighter should be.

Finally, the heart of this group is your older brother, me. The group doesn’t call me by Cookaroo, but by my nickname Corkscrew. You tried to torture me with it growing up, but I like it and took it as my bard stage name. The Raptors I see around here don’t quite look like our family heritage of bearded vultures, but it’s nice to see others of our race away from the trees.

You may not believe it, but we’re headed to Alderheart. I had to move up my plans to head to the big city, but it’s for good reason. We must warn them of the spread of the grove. Our first stop is the Winnowing Reach. I’ll be sure to send an interesting recipe with this letter.

The troop headed out, but what good adventure starts without a problem. We stumbled upon a group of bandits ruffling through a poor merchant’s cart. Either the desperate cry of poor Eliza the Eluran, or the way the mourning works in our cleric, but Spoke gave them quick warning and rightly open fire.

There was at least three Mapachs and a tough looking Vulpin. You might think your brother was scared, but I was protected by Fara and Rakuno as they made swift work of those toadies. And Sycamore frightened off that Vulpin with a battleaxe the size of a wagon wheel I tell you.

With the chaos that ensued, we thwarted their plans, and even may have steered one back to the humble life.

We were also chased by some fearsome fiery bats. These creatures I swear to you exist, and not just stories. There was even a strange humanoid looking creature made of magma. The Scorch Grove is truly an awful place.

Please give mom and dad my love, and I’m fortunate you guys are so far south and safe from this danger. Enclosed is a delicious looking recipe for Cajun Gumbo.

With all my love,

Cork

The Robot Apocalypse Is Upon Us

Careful, he getting huffy and puffy and may blow your house down

I came to realize the singularity (moment when robot intelligence surpasses humans and rise to be our overlords) has come. It was a gentle thing, a small moment that most people would think, “Hey, you’re just being a sore loser.” But no, I say, listen to my wisdom!

I was playing the Jackbox Party Pack 4 on Steam with a couple of friends. The games were innocent enough, the kind you wouldn’t think world ending prophecies would occur. We played the ‘Survive the Internet’ game first. Big mistake. Since it was just us three, the game decided to throw in a robot player to even the odds. Long story short, the AI was beating me on the scoreboard, making my prompts look the fool. But then the game sort of froze and we decided to move onto the next game. The computer probably had to pause so it could plot our demise.

We had fun playing a couple other games free from the influence of Skynet meddling in our affairs, and then decided to end it on ‘Monster Seeking Monster.’ I forgot it was a pretty awkward game where you must chat to each other to try and get one another to go on dates. Not exactly a game to play between a bunch of friends, but behold, the game threw in a robot player again. I had the bright idea to see who the robot would choose, and we all tried to date the bot. Three rounds later and not once did that s.o.b. pick me. The nerve! That’s it, everyone. Game Over! The robots know how to play us as fools and relish in our misery.

What else could it have been? That RNG just wasn’t in my favor? I’m too good for that!

You may also be going, hey wait, you haven’t posted anything in over 1 year and 10 months, why now? My answer is… robot uprising! Yeah, why else would I post this? To guilt someone to give me sympathy for being a sore loser? Pfft, it was the uprising.

Either way, stay safe out there.

-Tyrannodorkus

Motivational Seeking

I hope they find him soon. I’m very concerned with the state of dorkynus in the world…

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Hey Guys, so I already broke my goal of posting at least every two weeks, but no one is keeping track of that, right?… >.>

Either way, I had fun making this comic. I didn’t want to do it at first, but I forced myself to start and then I was on a roll and didn’t want to stop. In a way, that’s what the subject of the comic is about. I think we bloggers find ourselves in this predicament at least once in our writing hobby or career. An event or lull hits us, which puts the blog on the back burner, and before you know it, you are having the toughest time fanning that flame back to the size it once was.

Personally, I’m hindered that I tend to shy away from anything if someone is around (family included). Much like someone who’d dance or sing on an elevator alone, then instantly go still and silent when those doors open. I freeze in the presence of judgement. I shouldn’t, but it’s a powerful deterrent. The blog, however, provides a guise of anonymity that allows me to be free of judgement and dance to my heart’s content. So why don’t I blog more often?

Personally, I find it hard to do anything unless I’m in the right environment, which doesn’t exist in my currently living condition. I’m like my hated food, the mushroom. I need a cool, dark, and quiet place to feel motivated to do anything. My computer is currently set up in an open spot in the living room, close to the dining room table, and next to my brothers computer. So it’s bright, not quiet, and warm in the afternoon.

Of course these are all excuses I give myself, I could (and should) push myself mentally. I know when I finally make a post, I feel better. I’ve talked about this issue before, calling it work paralysis. I know how to fight it, I just need to kick myself in the patooty-booty and work my tooty-fruity.

By the way, if you haven’t seen my Twitter post, my brother’s friend is an artist and created for me a personification of my Tyrannodorkus logo. I gave him an idea what I was looking for, references and minor changes and he gave me this awesome photo. I plan on drawing my little guy after this now.

Now to talk about gaming.

The Wolf Among Us

My friend and blogger from another culture, Faeldray, sent me a wonderful steam gift this Christmas. Telltale Game’s The Wolf Among Us.

I won’t get into any spoilers, in case there are other late comers like I was. I enjoyed the game, with some minor gripes. It gave me a Stranger Things vibe and come to find out it’s based off a comic book series called Fables. I’m hooked and will be getting into that comic book soon.

The ending was the weakest part to me, like it dragged on longer than it should have in order to get to the final decision. I’m not sure if other games in the Telltale lineup does that, but I think I’ll look into the Borderlands one, and possibly Walking Dead.

The beauty of these interactive movie games is that the game changes based on how you feel it should flow. Unlike a movie where you think the main character would actually punch someone in frustration instead of letting them off the hook, in here, you can choose to do so. Because of this, you get a more intimate relation with the main character and are drawn into a personalized story.

If you’ve been wanting to try the game out, but haven’t yet, I suggest finding some time and go for it. There’s 5 episodes to the story, and about 2 hours per episode. I broke them up over 5 days, allowing myself to digest what happened in each episode.

Rebel Galaxy

It’s kind of another space ship simulator game. By that, I mean you are basically your ship, not a person and the main objective is to upgrade into better ships. I’ve done this in a few games before, like EvE, Elite: Dangerous, and Starpoint Gemini 2.  Of those three, it’s closest to Starpoint, where you do missions, mine, and follow a story. The kicker is that you are stuck on a single plane, so no up or down, but there’s a lot of cowboy vibe in the music, especially when you fight. I’ve heard it liken to cowboys in space with a Firefly vibe. I haven’t seen Firefly yet (don’t tar and feather me yet, it’s on my to watch list), but I do feel the cowboys in space vibe when fighting.

It’s an interesting game, and suggest trying if you like these type of spaceship games.

-Tyrannodorkus